Pre-Marital Counseling

Pre-Marital Counseling and Therapy does more than help couples get ready for marriage. It helps with moving from dating to marriage. When dating and a fight happens, each person can leave and cool off but not when you live together. Pre-Martial counseling teaches healthy ways to handle this situation. It teaches ways to reduce fights and improve communication.  This type of therapy focuses on seeing concerns in the relationship before it gets out of control.

 Benefits of Pre-Marital Counseling and Therapy

  • People learn how to grow together
  •  Learn to move from “I” to “We” thinking.
  • It gives couples a safe space to see their strengths and areas to change.
  • Helps heal past pains thus improving the couples chance to fix future concerns quicker.
  • Learn how to create stronger bonds.
  • Hear and share needs for the relationship
  •  Learn active listening and communication skills.
  • Understanding your partners values.

What The Couple Learns

Pre-Marital Counseling and Therapy focuses on learning how to lean into a concern thus talking openly about thoughts and feelings.  Learning ways to agree and setting good goals.  Couples spend countless hours making sure all the arrangements for their wedding is perfect. What about learning about your future spouse’s hopes and dreams? This is the place  to explored these ideas along with values, weaknesses, and strengths.  Will work on family planning and parenting styles.  Its also an opportunity to heal any past wounds from other relationships.

Its safe space of honesty, safety, and trust.  Learning what drew each partner to the other and what makes a good team.  The Prepare and Enrich (https://www.prepare-enrich.com/)  program used helps point out strengths and weaknesses.  Mastering these tools creates a better communication thus stopping the fights because the couple learn de-escalation tools and calming skills. Several skills from this program helps couples have difficult talks . Empathy builds a stronger marriage because the couple learn how to raise one another up. These skills are needed to overcome difficult times because the couple learns how to work together.

Sessions

Each pre-marital session will focus on a different topic.  These topics often become marital issues if not dealt with before the wedding ceremony.  Not every topic can be discussed in counseling but many common ones can be talked through thus reducing conflicts.  Below are a few common topics.

Handling Stress:  Marriage can bring stress.  Each person has there own way of coping with stress. Its important to know how these tools work with their partners because if one partner needs to talk out loud and the other goes quiet, conflict may arise.  Learning how each partner handles stress and creating skills tailored to the couple helps lessen tension and avoids a fight.

Family Finances:  Spending money leads to many arguments because each partner has their own thoughts, habits, and attitudes about money. The couple need to think about whether to put their money together or keep it separate. Conflict can occur when one partner fails to share  important details about their debts and finances.  Finding out after the marriage about a past due payments or unpaid parking tickets creates angry for the other partner.

Family Planning: Talking about kids before the marriage takes place.  Many couples do talk about children but thoughts about how many and when may change as the relationship grows. What if the couple learns they can not have children naturally.  Would adoption be an option?  Who would stay home as the primary care giver? Talking through these concerns before it happens teaches couples basic communication skills, such as problem solving.

Keys to Happy Marriage

A secret to a happy marriage is working on issues before getting married, such as culture, and parenting styles before they become harmful. Learning to see your partners view even when it does not match yours makes for a good  the marriage. Pre-Marital Counseling helps couples create the best relationship together.  Read my blog 3 Building Blocks To A Successful Marriage or Relationship

To learn more about Pre-Marital Counseling or to setup an appointment call me at 503 841-2142, email at angelie@pillarsofhopecounseling.com, or fill out the Contact form located on the contact page.

 

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