“What Counts In Making A Happy Marriage Is Not So Much How Compatible You Are, But How You Deal With Incompatibility.” Leo Tolstoy
Marriage can be very challenging. Marriage Counseling can help reduce challenges and provide tools for marital happiness. The demands of work, children, or graduate studies creates challenges that impact romance, intimacy, and connection. It is important to have specific time solely dedicated to the couple. This drives connection, affection, and compatibility. It helps to know that marriages change and grow naturally as the couple moves through the stages of life. The first years of marriage are focused on learning your partners needs and integrating into your partner’s family of origin. Middle stages of marriage are focused on raising children while later stages deal with adjusting to the empty nest and retirement concerns. No matter what stage the marriage is in it is important to pay attention to what is happening in the relationship and to express both your joys and concerns to your partner.
Whether a couple is married 30 years or 3-months communication and conflict are the two biggest reasons why a couple may seek professional help from a trained Marriage Counselor. Financial worries, emotional disengagement, and sexual concerns are other common concerns that bring loving couples into counseling. It certainly difficult to talk with a stranger about intimate details of your marriage but concerns can turn into resentments which can cause perpetual conflict and create marital disharmony. This type of unrest is unhealthy not just to couple but to the entire family.
Fear that the Marriage Therapist will say it is one partner fault is the biggest reason why couples do not seek out professional help. I create a safe environment in which each partner is heard and validated. I work to help couples understand their spouse better and work to develop deeper levels of emotional bonds which increases intimacy and relational happiness. I used many techniques and principles from the Gottman Method as well as Family Systems, and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Will start by identifying wounds and learning new communication patterns.
I also work with many couples experiencing infidelity. Infidelity counseling focuses on understand why the affair began, what is missing in the relationship, and overcoming feelings of not being good enough for your spouse. Those feelings are felt by both the injured party and the partner who was unfaithful. Just because an infidelity occurred does not mean divorce. Many couples are able to overcome the adversity and build a better marriage.
To learn more about what happens in marriage counseling read my blog “What to expect in couples or marriage counseling.” Taking the first step in contacting a Marriage Counselor is the act of courageous people. Lets take the adventure together! Fill out my contact form, email me at email@example.com, or call me at 503-841-2142 to make an appointment.
Video: Trust in Relationships